Sometimes I find it difficult to get through a day. I feel not enough……I feel unappreciated… Stretched beyond my stretch- ability... Worn…Torn... Even broken.

There is an ache inside of me, deep inside. No matter how hard I try to put my finger on it, I can’t. I can’t locate the pain or the precise reason. I try to be okay with it. I try to sit with it. To do some work with it. I try to walk with it and try to let the autumn breeze and a stranger’s smile soothe it. But none of it works. The ache remains. I meet people, I talk to them. I smile and even manage to laugh at a joke and momentarily forget it. I manage to concentrate and get through some tasks that need to be done. But the ache persists…..I feel helpless. I want to stop it, I wish it didn’t exist.  But I realise that this ache is destined to stay with me forever. It feels that way. It is an ache that cannot be soothed for it is impossible to erase what causes me this ingrained pain. Well, at least not in this life time.  

After as much trying I can muster for today, I return to my desk to try to write my ache away.  By chance I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out an unexpected object – a blue, green and white striped tiny little sock : an achingly sweet reminder of my precious son with his boundless joy and energy and effortless love of THIS life. I lay the little sock in front of my key board and start to type. This little sock is my anchor to the best thing in my life right now.  It reminds me why I must live - and live happily.