'Showing up'

So I’m trying to ‘show-up’ in every area of my life. I promised this myself after reading that post by James Altucher. I even bought his book after reading that article. I guess I really like this guy. I can’t wait to read it now. Sometimes it’s hard to keep doing what I need to be doing. Most of the time, I stray off the path - overwhelmed. Sometimes I find myself being pushed around by life - like an autumn leaf blowing in a gust of wind. I want to stop feeling that sense of powerlessness.

From the soul searching/you-tubing/reading/listening I’ve done as of late I think I’m on the right track. I just need to know how to deflect the noise of the world sometimes. The noise of the world is everything that goes against the Truth that I know for myself. It’s kind of hard to be different. It takes some courage – but it sure feels good. I’m getting the hang of saying what I feel more and more now. Before, I used to keep quiet and people started to take actions and make decisions that affected me. This was only natural; it’s just that I was ‘sleeping’.  This waking up process has been interesting because I’m always finding out ways of getting across to another person in a more compassionate way.  I hate to hurt feelings because I know how that feels. Sometimes this means being silent.  Sometimes it means being firm but calm, not emotional. Those who know me well know that I am an emotional addict. Well, now I’m rehabilitating myself. That is my New Year’s resolution.

It has really been a good year. I can’t believe I’m saying this because of the incredible pain I went through this year. The pain has been my teacher. The pain was necessary for me to be here right now and I’m grateful. From this place of now, my heart is more open. The imaginary separations I had created in the mind have started to come loose. I can see a little more clearly. I see the beauty all around me. I see myself in those I thought were ‘others’. I am no longer afraid of the pain that I often feel inside of myself. I try to walk towards it and find a little piece of the puzzle of who I am come together every time I do that. That’s my reward for walking towards pain. Whoever you are, who have stumbled upon this post - perhaps you could also try walking towards your pain. I promise you that it will be worth it. Then maybe one day we may recognise each other in each other. When that day comes, the world may be a little more close to how we all dream it would be.