The plan to see clearly

Nowadays, the days are warm and the nights are sticky with the trapped heat of the day. The evening breeze rarely blows inside the house now.  So I sat outside on the deck last evening reading ‘the arranged marriage’. Yesterday I decided to read one book a week. Today everything has changed again. I made a plan in a piece of paper, of all the things that should be accomplished in the coming few years. It was scary to think that ahead, in that much detail. But the good thing is it seemed somehow 'possible'. I have to believe that all 'that' is possible. I think the main thing I lack is 'self belief'. For times like these, I've kept a piece of paper printed with bold letters, stuck firmly to my bulletin board. It says:

“Each decision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days...what you can do or think you can do begin it. For boldness has Magic, Power and Genius in it"

I don't know since when I started to be fearful of 'plans'. I can't recall any grand plans I have ever had that were destroyed and left me devastated. It just occurs to me that I’m unconsciously thinking of life as a plan gone wrong. I don’t know where I get these things into my head. My world is colored by too many emotions, people and the past. I must learn to see clearly. That will be a good start for now.